"I still say that baby
looks jist like me," my husband said recently, speaking of our little grandson,
Jeffrey. "Why, jist look at his build..."
I watched as Jeffrey waddled around the living room, his cute little
tummy pooching over the top of his diaper.
"You’re right," I said, smiling. "I can see a lot
of resemblance.
"Come to think of it, I suppose a lot of babies look like their
grandfathers," I continued. "You know, as men get older, you get more wrinkles
and rolls. Some of you go bald again, lose your teeth, burp, whine, drool..."
"I got plenty o’ teeth AND hair!" Mel growled.
"I said SOME of you."
I began to point out other similarities that my husband couldn’t
deny.
"Just think how cranky you get when you don’t have your
nap," I said. "Of course, lately, you haven’t missed enough of them to
know..."
Mel gulped a glass of milk and glared at me.
"And recently, you’ve gone back to watching cartoons and
‘The Three Stooges.’ "
"That’s ’cause there ain’t nuttin’ else worth
watchin’, ’less you wanna watch a bunch o’ real idiots callin’ each
other names and boppin’ each other on the head on one ’nem afternoon
free-fer-alls," he snapped.
I reminded Mel that he had to take a lot more Tums and Rolaids for his
"colic" than he used to, and that he had resorted to eating more soft food. Then
I noted that he was back in an accident-prone stage with lots of bumps, scratches,
scrapes, and other "boo boos" to show for it.
"Why you’ve gotten so bad about breaking things, I’ve
put away some of my keepsakes so there’ll be something left for the kids," I
told him.
"That ain’t nuttin’ new. You always said I was like a
bull in a china closet," he grunted, indignantly.
"You have to admit your tendency to create havoc has increased
with age. Kind of like a minor earthquake everywhere you tread, but I wouldn’t be too
concerned," I said. "It’s natural when you’re entering your second
childhood."
"Hogwarsh!" he snapped.
"Apparently other people think it’s true," I argued.
"Since you turned 55 back in January, everywhere you go folks have been offering you
reduced rates and kiddie plates—all kinds of special deals. Don’t tell me you
haven’t noticed. You’ve been buying Tootsie Roll Pops with all that leftover
change..."
Mel looked absolutely deflated.
"Yo’re makin’ me sound like a ‘has been,’
" he said.
"Not at all. You’re starting out all over again.
Jeffrey’s a dead ringer for you all right, and it’s clear as can be why he
relates so well to you. It’s because he and Paw Paw are both on the same level,"
I said, dabbing at Mel’s semi-dried, milk moustache. "Lucky for you you’ve
got a mature woman like me to look after you."
