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February 16, 2001

My brothers, Curry and Lyle, have recently taken up golf and have often suggested that Mel try it.

"I can't fer the life of me understand how they can git all excited 'bout swattin' at an itty, bitty ball with a stick and then runnin' after it. I
guess I jist don't see the fun in that," my husband has told me more than
once."It jist ain't my cup o' tea."

"How do you know if you don't try it?" I always reply.

"Why them boys has got plumb goofy over it. I can't understand what's got into 'em, givin' up fishin' fer golf."

"They haven't given up fishing," I said. "They've just managed to add golf to their growing list of hobbies."

"Golf is jist too dang expensive. You got to have yore clubs, an' the right shoes, an' one nem silly li'l caps fer starters. Then you got ongoin' expenses, like green fees, an' golf tees, an' golf balls...Once't you git hooked, you're prob'ly lookin' at a country club membership an' a golf cart an' a trailer to pull it. Then you need the right vehicle to pull the trailer, an' a shed to keep it in. Next thang you know, yo're payin' three prices fer a swanky house on a golf course in one nem gated retirement communities, an' it jist keeps on keepin' on..."

I smiled. "Sounds a whole lot like fishing. You've got your rod and reel, your tackle box, your hooks, and weights and lures, stringers, and wire baskets, minnow buckets....let's see. You have your fishing license, your life jackets, your caps, a Coleman lantern and your Igloo cooler. Then you've got your trolling motor, your depth finder, your boat and motor, and a trailer. Oh yeah, then you've got to have the right vehicle to pull the trailer, and a place to store the boat. Next thing you know, you've got a motorhome to pull your rig and then you start shopping for a retirement home on a waterfront lot and it just keeps on keeping on..."

"I still say investin' in fishin' as a hobby is a lot more practical than golfin'," Mel grunted.

"Or cows," I suggested. "You start off going to sale barns and buying a few pairs along, a cow here a heifer there. Naturally, you've got to have an extended cab truck and a dog to go in the back and a cattle trailer. Then you've got your barn and your pens, a head chute, some syrup tanks and hay bunks. You plant grass for the cows to eat, then you've got to have a tractor, a shredder and a baler...If you really love your cows, you'll want to fertilize good and irrigate your grass, so you may want to put in a well and invest in some center pivots. Soon, you need more ponds, so you buy a bulldozer to dig them. Now you've got to have an equipment shed for your bulldozer and tractor, and your bulging inventory of machinery and tools. Next thing you know, you've got to have a bigger place and it just keeps on keeping on..."

Instead of the expected protest, Mel just sat there, wheels turning.

"What's wrong?" I had to ask.

"Them boys got all three o' them hobbies plus deer an' turkey huntin', an' Lyle likes to snow ski..."

"Yeah?"

"I wuz jist calculatin' how many more cows they could buy if they'd jist give up 'em kiddie activities."