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April 20, 2001

"You know, jist when you thank Mother Nature has thrown ever' thang in the book at farmers an' ranchers—drought, an' floods, an' frost, an' insects—along comes this foot-an'-mouth disease skeer," my husband commented recently, after watching an FMD segment on the evening news. "It's sure 'nough heartbreakin' to see 'em Europeans havin' to kill so many of thur livestock. It's unbelievable how that epidemic has spread over there...an' on the heels of the Brits' problems with `mad cow disease.' 'Tween the two, it's jist about wiped them poor cattlemen out."

I agreed that it was a serious situation, and one worth watching.

"Our animal health folks seem to be on top of things, trying to keep people informed on ways to prevent an outbreak here in the states and what to do if livestock exhibit any FMD symptoms," I noted.

"Bad 'nough that certain animals get foot-an'-mouth. Good thang people ain't afflicted with it," Mel observed.

"I know quite a few folks with a bad case of foot-IN-mouth disease," I retorted. "It's obviously not fatal, but certainly chronic."

Mel ignored the crack and said, "Now, if we could jist git the media to keep thangs straight. They're so all-fahred innersted in scoopin' the other fellar, they jist throw sumpn' up aginst the wall to see if it'll stick. They've got folks confusin' foot-an'- mouth, or whut we always called `hoof an' mouth,' with `mad cow' an' thur differ'nt as night an' day. Seems like 'em newscasters is jist itchin' for sumpn' juicy to report so they can whip up some more hysteria..."

"Like they don't have enough crises at home and abroad to keep them busy as it is," I said.

Mel sighed. "If it keeps this up, looks like we're gonna have to do like ol' Noah an' build ourselves an' ark an fill it up with cows, an' pigs, an' sheep an' goats, an' deer, an' ride this thang out."

"What's bad is there isn't enough vaccine to give to livestock to keep them from catching FMD," I said. "Overseas, they're using the serum to create a buffer zone of cattle to try to contain the disease. And since its a live virus vaccine, I'm told they can't distinguish whether or not a vaccinated cow testing positive is due to the vaccine or infection. They can't take any chances, so eventually, they will slaughter those cattle as well.

"What I can't understand is why only animals with cloven feet get it," I continued. "That's the common denominator. Maybe that's where the research needs to be."

"You'd thank as long as this disease has been around, somebody would have come up with a shot er tonic er sump'n to treat it by now," he said.

"You'd think. But there hasn't been a case of FMD in the U.S. since 1929, so there's been no compelling need."

"Maybe we been goin' about it all wrong, an' should change our approach," my husband suggested. "Maybe we orta simply turn some 'em high-powered genetic tinkerers down at A&M aloose on it an' see if they can't breed us up some livestock without mouths and feet."