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December 7, 2001

This rendition of "T'was the Night Before Christmas," which first appeared in Texas Agriculture in 1994, is reprinted by request:

T'was the night before Christmas when out on the farm
Not a creature was stirring, except in the barn.
Seed caps were hung on the hooks by the door,
And muddy boots heaped in a pile on the floor.
Mel was nestled all snug in his bed
While visions of Blue Bell danced in his head.
He in his flannels and me in my gown
Had wrapped the last package before settling down.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I elbowed Mel: "Let's go see what's the matter!"
The moon o'er the valley cast a great glow
Shedding marvelous light on the cattle below,
Then what to our wandering eyes did appear
But a miniature sleigh with eight tiny reindeer.
The li'l ol' driver, so lively and quick,
We knew at once must be Saint Nick!
But something was wrong with the reindeer, it seemed.
They were quite unruly, and the small sleigh careened!
"Whoa, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
Whoa, Comet! Whoa Cupid! Whoa, Donner, and Blitzen!
Like tumbleweeds before the wild cyclone tumble
The reindeer hit the ground with a rumble.
On impact, the toys were strewn all around
Saint Nicholas bounced hard when he hit the ground.
Mel ran to see the damage 'twas done
While I fought the urge to call 911.
But Santa insisted that he was okay
"I forgot Rudolph's allergic to hay!"
The sleigh was demolished, the reindeer confused,
But luckily, Santa was just a bit bruised.
"Mercy me, what now?" Santa said.
His shoulders slumped and he hung his head.
"The children are counting on me to come
I've many more stops; the night's just begun!"
"Don't worry, Santa," I heard Mel say.
"We'll drive Ol' Green the rest of the way!"
A smile returned to the elfin face,
'Til he realized there was no space,
For dolls and bikes and teddy bears
'Cause Ol' Green was packed to the hilt with Mel's wares.
Believe it or not, Mel emptied the truck
Of tractor parts, feed sacks and other stuff
Of baling wire, ear tags and long log chains
To make room for kites, stick horses and trains.
Santa rode shotgun with Mel at the wheel.
I thought to myself, "This can't be for real!"
'Twas the craziest sight you've ever seen,
Christmas treasures in the back of Ol' Green!
All at once I awoke to Mel's snore,
Guess it was a dream, nothing more.
But then a voice whispered, to my delight,
"Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night."