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Texas Agriculture Archive

July 5, 2002

"I thank we're gonna hafta reinstate linchin' if the gub'ment don't take some action against the top dawgs makin' off with the kitty when the high flyin' corporations they been runnin' crash' an' burn. Thur committin' larceny on the grandest scale," my husband observed, "an' it's ever' bit as bad as horse thievin' wuz a hunnerd an' fifty years ago. Seems like the onliest ones git hung these days is juries!"

I had to agree with Mel that crooks are rampant and the punishment doesn't seem to fit the crimes they're committing.

"Rilly, hangin's too good fer 'em," he said. "A lot o' that same bunch is the ones that robbed our savins' an' loans in the eighties an' we got stuck with the bill. Now they turned around an' done it to us agin. Looks like they ain't gonna be satisfied 'til they've looted the entahr U.S. treasury!"

I had to admit, Mel had a point.

"Used to, they'd send fellars like 'at to Sing Sing," Mel continued. "Nowadays, they make 'em a CEO an' give 'em a seben figger income. When they git caught, they slap thur hand, turn 'em loose, an' next thang you know, thur a lobbyist or a diplomat!

"Looks to me like the president's gonna hafta declare war on the crooks right along with the Al Queda.

Mel came up for air and took off again. "Corruption's oozin' an' you know thangs is as bad as they can git when you find out thur's a possibility Martha Stewart, the Betty Crocker of the jet set, is infected. They'll prob'ly make an' example outta her, but they still ain't done nuttin' to them Enron thieves, an' now WorldCom's shenanigans are comin' to light. It's clear why the idea of a flat tax or a national sales tax got put on the back burner. It wudda took away all 'em loopholes crooks like to hide behind.

"Git this, I heard one commentator say a lot of the losses from WorldCom wuz the investors' own fault. He said people shudda seen the handwritin' on the wall. 'At knucklehead. How does he thank they shoulda seen it comin' when what was wrote on the wall was a buncha bull?

"I thank it's time we read the handwritin' on the Wall Street wall. All 'em guys better come clean quick or Humpty Dumpty's had it!"

I agreed. "These massive corporations have so many ways to cook their books, but I'm sure they didn't corner the market on dishonesty."

"Maybe not, but they seem to have the largest marketshare," Mel replied. "I knew a fellar once't that only had 50 cows. Come to find out, he had his banker believin' he had 150. When the banker come to count his collateral, he'd take the long way around the ranch in his old truck. Meantime, his hired hand would move the cows to a differ'nt pasture. He done wrong alright, but he wuzn't sellin' shares in his herd an' usin' smoke an' mirrors to make investors thank they wuz gittin' rich in the cow bidness."

"Nobody would fall for that," I said.

Mel looked puzzled. "Fall for what?"

"The idea that anybody can get rich in the cow business."