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I came in to find Mel in a flurry–pots boiling, skillets frying, meat on the grill, and oven going full throttle.
"Whatchoo got in those sacks?" he demanded to know.
"I just swung by the grocery store and got a few things on the way home."
"Better not be anythang that needs to go in the freezer, 'cause we ain't got one," Mel grunted.
"What do you mean, we ain't got one?"
"Ah come home an' seen a stream o' water tricklin' out from under it, an' when Ah opened the door, the freezer had give up the ghost," my husband lamented. "At first, Ah figgered you jist didn't shut the door good, an' Ah wuz plannin' on lahtin' into you, but turns out it jist quit on us. Good thang Ah was on my toes. Otherwise, we'd lost ever'thang in it. Ah'm cookin' up a bunch o' stuff now so it don't go bad. We'll hafta make whut we can fit in the freezer compartment of the refrigerator er start callin' in the neighbors for supper. Ah'm stuffed...Ah've already eat a double cheese pizza, a dozen buffalo wangs an' two choklit shakes made from melted ice cream."
I groaned when I saw the sink mounded with messy pots and pans. I set my groceries down and peeked into the oven. Mel had a big pot roast, meat loaf, and split chicken breasts baking. Fajitas were sizzling in a skillet, chili brewing in the big stew pot, and German sausages, pork chops, and steaks laid out and covered in Mel's favorite rub, ready for the grill. In the center of the kitchen floor was a garbage sack running over with bloody butcher paper and plastic wrap.
"First thang in th' mornin', Ah'll go down to Sears & Roebuck an' git us a new freezer so we'll have a place for some of this cooked up stuff."
"Do you think that's really wise? I was just reading the other day the costs of owning a freezer. You have the initial cost of buying the freezer. Then there's maintenance and repairs which the U.S. Department of Agriculture estimated at two percent per year for new freezers. And you'll also lose the interest you could have earned on the money you spent to buy the freezer. Based on U.S. Department of Energy figures the electricity used to operate a freezer will run roughly $85 per year..."
Mel bristled, like he always does anytime I have questioned the economics of operating one.
"Look," I said, "I got the information from an article in which a woman said her husband had accidentally unplugged their basement freezer twice in a month and they'd lost all the food from both thaws."
Mel tip-toed out of the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a sheepish look on his face.
"What now?"
"Ah got good news and good news," he said. "We don't need a new freezer. Looks lahk instead o' unpluggin' mah air compressor th' other naht, Ah unplugged the' freezer."
"What's the other good news?"
Mel grinned, "Now we won't have to eat out fer six months!"
