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Just about the time I think I've heard every old saying and proverb there ever was, Mel springs a new one on me. Sometimes I'm not sure if these are from the old days, or some my husband manufactures on the spot. Still, some of his pithy sayings possess a timeless quality.
Those times when Mel has tried to nudge me ahead in life, he'd say something like, "If you keep lookin' back, purdy soon you'll be headed 'at way."
When I've tried to talk him out of it, he'd say, "Save yore breath to cool yore coffee."
When I've complained that I'm overwhelmed, he says "If you cain't ride two horses at once't, you ort not to be in th' circus." Other times, he responds with, "Remember, by the yard, lahf is hard. By the inch, it's a cinch" or "All sunshine makes a desert."
He has some interesting observations on economics. "Inflation is when you fin'ly git the money to buy sump'n an' it ain't enough" is one. Then, I've heard him say, "Ain't no disgrace to be pore, but it's mahty inconvenient." Other favorites are "The reason some people are stingy is th' same reason thur rich" and "Figgers never lie, but liars can figger."
He frequently sizes people up with statements like "Li'l boats orta stay near the shore," "You can load a thousand pounds o' gold on a donkey, but he's still a jackass," "Artificial intelligence ain't no match fer natur'l stupidity," or "When the game's over, th' King and the pawn both go back in the same box."
I also heard him tell a friend once, when discussing a rather ostentatious fellow, "The price of yore hat ain't always the measure of yore brain."
He often assesses a problem or situation and comes up with a piece of advice like "Ever'body knows you don't give robbers a job in a bank."
He's high on experience, and the wisdom that goes with gray hair, especially when it comes to doing a job right.
"A new broom sweeps clean, but the ol' brush knows all the corners," he says, along with "An old ox makes a straight furrow."
And he's big on options and planning, as indicated by "A sly rabbit'll have three openin's to his den" or "If you don't have a plan fer yoreself, you'll end up part o' someone else's."
Other recommendations from Mel include: "Never miss a good chance to shut up"; and "Don't look at whur you fell, but whur you started slippin'."
On poor explanations, he's been known to say, "A bad excuse is better'n none."
Mel uses old sayings, like "As wrinkled as an elephant's hide" and "Tightern' a duck's end, and that's waterproof," to make a point.
When he says "A man is known by the company he keeps," it worries me that it may apply to a woman, also.
Just the other day, Mel was patting himself on the back for some recent successes and said, "Anybody can make history. It takes a great man like me to write it."
He gave me a very disapproving look when I shot back with one of his very own proverbs: "Every man has a fool up his sleeve."
