|
|
|
|
|
"Ah thank they done gone an' switched the name o' our fair state from 'Texas' to `Taxes,'" Mel complained recently (and regularly). "Leastwise, it seems thataway. Ever' tahm Ah turn around, it jist seems to git worse. Maybe we orta send some 'em politicians who keep tawkin' 'bout tax reform to reform school so they can git educated. Ah'm ready for 'em to put up or shut up. An' at the federal level, thur robbin' us blind. Man, Ah shore do hate writin' this check to the IRS. Seems lahk April 15 comes twice't a year..."
My husband's lamentations reminded me of a poem he wrote. It appeared a number of years ago in a column, but with the date of this publication coinciding with income tax deadline day, I thought it was worth repeating...
Mel's Tax Poem
Ah don't understand it. Ah cain't figger why,
Thur's no escapin' taxes,
'cept if and when Ah die.
Grandpa always said it, "There's just two thangs fer sure
That's death and payin' taxes;
and one's the other's cure."
You try to make improvements; yore taxes escalate.
You let the whole thang go to pot;
they'll simply raise your rate.
You want to spruce thangs up a bit,
but you'll be penalized.
They'll jack yore taxes higher,
so don't you be surprised.
It don't make a lick o' sense, to tax a piece of land
From Genesis 'til doomsday,
jist because they can.
If my money was in diamonds, in a safe deposit box,
None would be the wiser—
no tax fer this sly fox.
But Ah cain't lock my land up, or move it outta sight,
So they'll jist keep on taxin' it, and that just don't seem right.
My farm is jist a rock pile.
Pore dirt and skimpy grazin'.
Don't matter to them tax folks,
who jist keep on a raisin'
My ad valorem taxes, to keep pace with expenses.
And at current levels, won't pay to fix my fences.
What's a guy like me to do, if he cain't win fer losin'?
Seems everthang is goin' down
but taxes—that's confusin'!
Land our way don't brang much more'n land 10 years ago.
The price of cows is up now, but fer how long, Ah don't know...
Ag value is essential,(or else my goose is cooked)
On what my land produces, not on the way it looks.
A sales tax wouldn't be so bad, Ah thank it'd be more fair,
'Cause everyone who benefits should kick in his fair share.
But Ah ain't fer no sales tax, until we first repeal
Our ad valorem taxes, or we may get a deal
Where we jist might git stuck with both, and that ain't gonna fly,
Payin' a tax for ownin' land on top of what you buy...
Yep, two thangs Ah can count on
Just like my Grandpa spoke,
"You'll keep on payin' taxes, son,
Until the day you croak!"
