Return to TFB Main Page
Return to Current Edition
Texas Agriculture Archive

November 4, 2005

"Wudn't lahf grand when you wuz a li'l kid an' you didn't thank about makin' money, keepin' up with the Jones, taxes, politics, or religious differ'nces? Lahf wuz much simpler when you wuz in the dark on most subjects. Seems lahk the more you know, the worse off you are. Thangs wuz fahn an' dandy with Adam an' Eve, but it all went to pot when they ate that apple. Lahf got a lot more complicated when they lost thur innocence, an' it's been downhill ever since," my husband observed.

"That makes me think about Robert Fulghum's book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten," I said. "It was really popular a decade or so ago. I think I've got it here somewhere."

I started rummaging through the bookshelf, squinting at each title.

"They hadn't eben heard o' kindergarten when Ah wuz in school. We'd jist found out the world wudn't flat an' the new hadn't wore off insahd plumbin'," Mel remarked.

"It really is a good book," I said, plucking it from the shelf. "In retrospect, Fulghum learned that `wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.' He said everything he needed to know about life and how to live it, and how to be, he learned by the time he was six years old...by the way, he grew up in Waco, and was a ditch-digger, newspaper carrier, ranch hand, and singing cowboy before he went on to college, grad school, and got a degree in theology."

"Is that a fact?"

"Yes. This book is chock full of practical observations, like `It is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.'"

"Could be, 'less you got the devil in a blue dress by the paw," Mel replied. "Jist ezackly whut other rules to live by does this guy offer?"

I recited some rules from Fulghum's list: Share everything; Play fair; Don't hit people; Put things back where you found them; Clean up your own mess; Don't take things that aren't yours; Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody; Wash your hands before you eat; Flush...

"Yep, it's pretty obvious you skipped kindergarten, or flunked it one," I said.

Mel yanked the book from my hand and picked up where I left off.

"...Warm cookies an' cold milk are good for you; Live a balanced life_learn some an' thank some an' draw an' paint an' sang an' dance an' play an' work ever' day some; Take a nap ever' afternoon..."

"On second thought, you seem to have most of those activities down pat," I said.

"Well, this here fellar suggests that the whole world would be a better place if ever'body stopped at 3 o'clock in the afternoon for cookies, milk and a nap. If you'd take you a li'l siesta ever' day, you maht have a sunny personality lahk me, 'stead of bein' so blamed ornery," Mel said, stretching his upper lip into an impertinent smile.

That's when I recalled one of the rules from my kindergarten play book: If you pull someone's hair, stomp their foot, kick their shins extra hard and then run like the dickens, they'll never catch you.